Interview: How to Build a Sustainable Relationship

Hey lovelies, happy new month! I hope you had a fabulous day? Well, my day was quite interesting! I got to interview an old friend of mine, we’ve known each other for almost a decade, and it gives me great joy to collaborate with him on this post “how to build a sustainable relationship”.

Aderinto is a Dating & Relationship Counselor. Today, he will be answering some of the frequently asked questions that will inspire you to build a sustainable relationship with your partner, so sit tight and enjoy the chat.

1. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode! So, most people in a relationship want to know some essential traits of lasting relationships; kindly share your thoughts on this.

For a relationship to last, none of the two must think it’s the other person who needs them. They must both think they need each other now and always. A relationship is not about trying to squeeze the love out of the other person but about sharing.

2. Why do people desire to meet and marry their soulmates? Is it just a myth?

There’s no such thing as a soulmate. This nonsense myth of soulmate, including the idea that a man must find his missing rib to be complete, must be eradicated if he wants at least a slight improvement in the dynamics between a man and a woman.

I understand if a body needs a mate, but if two bodies rub against each other for 1000 years, it is their skin that’s rubbing, not the soul. One thing human beings need to understand is that the soul is a complete being, not half.

Do you have a half soul or a complete soul? The soul mate concept inspires the idea that everything will be perfect and sweet when we find a soul mate. But if anyone wants an ideal partner or relationship, please do not choose a human being. You must choose God.

The creator perfectly or entirely makes a soul; it doesn’t need a mate either here on earth or in heaven. Even in judgment, each soul will stand alone.

Two physical entities can’t become one. Anything that has a physical existence can never become one with another except they are standing or sitting or sleeping on each other. If you see any couple having an extraordinary relationship or marriage, it is not because they found a soul mate. They found someone who can manage their madness or each other’s madness and are both putting in the work to manage the relationship. This is why couples fight over the same issue every time, even though they have been married for several years.

3. Many people have experienced a relationship going from bad to worse and have been told they ignored the red flag(s). What are some uncommon red flags that tend to go unnoticed till the relationship hits a brick wall?

No one should set out looking for red flags in a relationship; follow your instincts, not some flags. Be fully involved in the relationship. Your instincts know what to do. The issue is people don’t listen; they follow emotions.

However, for someone that is badly looking for a red flag, I have one for you. If your partner doesn’t call or text in 52hrs. You are most likely an option, not a priority

4. To build a sustainable relationship, what should couples focus on in their first year of dating?

Focus on becoming a wonderful human being. If you are lovely and create an excellent environment, your partner will become wonderful to you. If you create a hostile environment, your partner will become nasty to you. People are not reacting to you; they are simply responding to you ( your energy ).

5. We are exposed to a lot of information on the internet about successful relationships. In your opinion, how does the internet affect or improve the emotions of couples?

There is nothing wrong with the internet; what we need to focus on is our minds. Emotions only happen WITHIN us, not outside. Feeling bad is happening only within someone, not outside of them.

The internet cannot be controlled as there are so many stakeholders, but if you can’t control what happens outside in the world or the internet, at least what happens within you must be handled 100 per cent the way you want it. Learn how to manage your thoughts and emotion, don’t give the internet the privilege to make you or your relationship into a nasty one.

6. Lastly, is there anything like ‘the one’? What’s your advice to singles searching for the one?

Whoever you marry becomes the ONE for you. God does not give husband or wife; He gives CHOICES. Who you marry is 100 per cent your choice. This doesn’t mean God is not involved in the choices he has already given, and God has never separated himself from you. He’s not on the mountains or in the sky; He’s within you.

My advice to single people is God only gives a choice. He doesn’t provide husband or wife. Your focus should be making yourself into a wonderful human being, then sit back and what the kind of people you attract. I create content on this almost every time.

Conclusion.

Ladies and Gents, there you have it! I hope you enjoyed our little chat? If you need to contact him for relationship counselling, you can reach him on his FACEBOOK PAGE.

If you love this blog, kindly share the posts with your friends and loved ones. It will mean a lot to me to know your thoughts in the comments. Love, Grace