This is one of the most controversial topics I have ever discussed with some friends because a few think that boundaries should only be set at work and not with close friends, while others feel there’s a need to protect your personal space by setting boundaries.
What do you think?
To protect your mental health, you should set boundaries irrespective of your relationship with others; it is your duty to let those close to you know about these boundaries. Don’t get me wrong; you don’t have to announce to everyone that “hey, I’ve got boundaries, and because of that, I expect you to treat me this way”. That’s just going to make you a loner.
Firstly, let’s understand what boundaries are. According to positivepsychology.com, boundaries are limits or spaces between you and the other people; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends. The purpose of setting a healthy boundary is, of course, to protect and take good care of you.
Healthy boundaries are important in parenting, corporate environments, friendships and relationships to foster a better understanding.
Furthermore, It’s imperative to identify the basis of your boundaries. For instance, setting healthy boundaries based on your self-awareness journey leads to a positive lifestyle. In contrast, if it’s based on a negative experience, it is advisable to deal with the trauma rather than making boundaries a way to avoid dealing with the past. Luckily, Sara Almadani explained why you should make a negative experience turn you into a better and not a bitter person in the video below.
So, what kind of boundaries do you need? It’s up to you to be aware of yourself and know where to draw the line.
This article will discuss the ways to set healthy boundaries and their impact on self-care. The basic healthy boundaries to set include:
- Physical. Not everyone likes physical touch especially when you are friends with a hugger. It’s okay to communicate this so you won’t harbour resentment.
- Privacy. It’s okay to keep your business to yourself, handle issues on your own and so on. You don’t have to “talk about it” if you don’t want to. But!! It is not okay to claim to be a private person just to conduct illicit activities. You know what I mean.
- Charity. Give cheerfully and also know when to stop if it starts affecting your finances.
- Emotional. There is time for everything, time to walk away from what steals your joy, gives you sleepless nights and gets you emotionally drained.
- Time. You have the right to take your time when you are not obliged to get involved in someone’s business.
- Being flexible or rigid in decision making. This particular point is useful when you are in a position of power. It’s important to know how to create a balance.
- Psychological blame game. I don’t mean you shouldn’t accept when you’re wrong, of course, if you are, you need to apologize however when someone tries to guilt-trip you and play the blame game, don’t fall for the trick.
- Choose your identity. Your social identity may be quite complex that you’ll feel the best way to relate with others is to maintain a simple identity.
- Sticking up for yourself. If your response to a question is no, you don’t need to feel compelled to say yes just to get the likes of others. It’s perfectly fine to remain true to your principles.
In conclusion, setting boundaries doesn’t make you “Sally, the selfish lady”; instead, it makes you avoid unnecessary drama, know your true friends and maintain healthy relationships.
If you love this blog, kindly share the posts with your friends and loved ones. It will mean a lot to me to know your thoughts in the comments. Love, Grace
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